The counterintuitive truth about leadership that most miss

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Reading Time: 4 Minutes

The biggest trap high-performing leaders fall into isn't poor strategy or weak execution - it's too certain they're right.

I've seen this play out countless times in my work with pro athletes, executives, and coaches. They succeed through competence and conviction. But as that conviction builds, they grow are resistant to new information.

I’ve worked with several coaches who’ve struggled because they couldn’t (or wouldn’t) adapt their style as circumstances changed. The same confidence that got them to the top started holding them back.

You might recognize this pattern - the more senior you become, the easier it is to dismiss feedback that challenges your assumptions, based on the idea that you know more or have more experience. Interestingly enough, though, data shows that an outsider, with no knowledge of your space or problems, can often help you break through and learn something new (Alter, 2023).

Today we're going to explore how to maintain conviction while staying adaptable. Here's what we'll cover:

• The psychology behind leadership blind spots

• How to balance confidence with curiosity

• Practical tools for getting honest feedback

Let's dive into some essential resources for developing this critical balance:

Weekly Resource List:

• Think Again by Adam Grant (Reading Time: 6 hours): A masterful exploration of the importance of rethinking our assumptions

• The Captain Class by Sam Walker (Reading Time: 5 hours): A deep analysis of what makes the greatest team leaders different

• Trillion Dollar Coach" by Eric Schmidt (Reading Time: 4 hours): Bill Campbell's framework for authentic leadership

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3 Keys to Adaptive Leadership That Drives Results

To develop as a leader, you need these core elements:

1. Psychological Flexibility

The best leaders maintain strong convictions while staying open to new information. Research consistently shows that psychologically flexible leaders drive better team performance and create more innovative cultures (Bond & Bunce, 2003). This isn't about abandoning your principles.

It's about holding them while staying responsive to changing circumstances.

The key is developing what’s been referred to as “freedom in the huddle.”

Create clear frameworks and boundaries for your team, but allow significant freedom within them. Like an NBA coach who has core offensive principles but lets players improvise within that system, you want to provide direction while enabling creativity. This balance helps teams feel both secure and empowered.

The practical application starts with examining your responses to new ideas or challenges to your thinking. When someone disagrees with you, do you immediately defend your position or get curious about their perspective? Practice pausing before responding and asking questions to understand different viewpoints. This simple habit builds the mental flexibility needed for elite leadership.

2. Active Feedback Loops

Getting honest feedback as a leader is surprisingly difficult.

The higher you rise in an organization, the less likely people are to tell you the unvarnished truth. This "insulation effect" can create dangerous blind spots that limit both your growth and your team's performance.

I've seen this repeatedly with professional athletes who reach elite status - everyone stops giving them the critical feedback they need to keep improving. And, sure enough, their growth stalls out. Often, they simultaneously go into their shell, afraid to lose the status they’ve gained and too self-protective to get out of the downward spiral.

The solution is creating systematic feedback channels that make it safe for people to be honest. This goes beyond annual reviews or occasional check-ins. Schedule regular one-on-one meetings focused specifically on gathering input about your leadership impact. Make it clear that you value candid feedback. When you get it, respond with curiosity instead of defensiveness.

Most importantly, take action on the feedback you receive and follow up. When team members see you making changes, it builds trust and encourages more open communication.

Start small - pick one piece of feedback each month to actively work on and share your progress with the team. This transparency creates a positive feedback cycle that enhances both your leadership and team performance.

3. Deliberate Reflection

Elite performers understand the power of systematic reflection. Yet many leaders skip this crucial practice. They feel like they need to “just keep moving forward.” But without regular reflection, you miss critical learning opportunities and risk repeating mistakes. Skipping reflection makes it harder to move forward most effectively. We know that reflection is the key to deepening learning.

The best coaches I work with schedule non-negotiable time for reviewing game film - leaders need the same discipline for reviewing their performance.

Set aside at least 30 minutes weekly for focused leadership reflection. During this time, examine your key decisions and their outcomes. What patterns do you notice? Where did your assumptions prove wrong? What feedback have you received that you haven't fully processed? Use a structured format to make this reflection more productive - I recommend the "What? So What? Now What?" framework for analyzing situations and extracting actionable insights.

I’ve also been experimenting with journaling in ChatGPT (you can create a setting so your information isn’t shared with OpenAI). It’s pretty neat to see it surface some insights about me.

The final piece is translating reflection into action. After each reflection session, identify one specific behavior change or experiment to implement in the coming week. This could be as simple as asking more questions in meetings or sharing more context behind decisions. The key is making reflection a catalyst for continuous improvement rather than just an intellectual exercise. Over time, this cycle of reflection and targeted action accelerates your leadership development.

Here's what you learned today:

- Leadership requires balancing conviction with adaptability

- Create systems for getting honest feedback

- Regular reflection accelerates growth

Start by scheduling 30 minutes this week for leadership reflection. Use this time to examine your recent decisions and their outcomes.

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